It’s an all too familiar scene.

Friends visiting San Francisco text to ask if I’d like to join them somewhere in the city. They know I love sharing my city with visitors, especially those who haven’t been before. Yet a small part of me cringes when I hear their list of plans: Fisherman’s Wharf, Pier 39, Union Square, Ghirardelli Square, riding in a cable car, clam chowder in a sourdough bread bowl.

I resist the urge to text them back with “No! Don’t do it! It’s a trap!” …Those are all parts of San Francisco that I have fond memories of, especially as a child. And for those who haven’t been before, they’re essential parts of the SF tourist experience.
The moment in which I shudder has less to do with any given person’s San Francisco itinerary and more to do with thinking back to when that was all I knew of the city. It’s all that most who visit know of the city.

I grew up within a day trip’s driving distance of SF. While certainly no local, I made enough trips to the city to know (or to think I knew) about where to go and what to see. I visited often, with a quiet but magnetic draw to someday living in the city (though I wouldn’t become the person who could thrive there until later in life — I know this now.) Yet it wasn’t until I eventually made the move…when I fulfilled my dream of being a real San Franciscan…that I learned how little I actually knew about it.

Perhaps the biggest case in point — and the first place I send visitors to — is the Mission District. The neighborhood doesn’t tend to conjure up the classic visions of San Francisco that we see on postcards, but that’s exactly what I love about it. And while it has changed significantly since I was a child, and arguably even more in the last few years that I’ve lived here, to me it’s still one of the most interesting and exciting places in the city.

Another large part of why I love living in San Francisco is how walkable it is (car-free for three years here!) So when HI USA invited me along on one of their walking tours of the Mission District, I leapt on over there to take part.

First Stop:

Zeitgeist

San Francisco’s best beer garden is also an eclectic, locals-only bar and patio with one of the best Bloody Marys in the city. It’s the kind of original joint that is getting harder and harder to find. It’s the anti-trendy. Stop in for a beer, stay for the shaded back patio and people watching.

Next:

The Armory

One of the most intriguing buildings I’ve ever stumbled upon in SF, there’s certainly more to this historic building than meets the eye. Once an arsenal for the United States National Guard, it was built to replace the one destroyed in the 1906 earthquake. From there it functioned as a sports and events venue, a filming location for The Empire Strikes Back (this is a true story,) and then was threatened until purchased by kink.com (you can guess the business they’re in.) A fascinating landmark with many lives, it’s under renovation for its next life stage, so I recommend checking out the exterior or getting a drink next door at The Armory Club.

Next:

Clarion Alley

One of my favorite places in the entire city, Clarion Alley connects Mission Street to Valencia Street — and in some ways, it acts as a bridge between the two streets (traditional and gentrified…) and a symbol of the changing city. Social and political issues both local and national are present on its ever-changing walls, where beautiful art meets strong statements. Some sections of the alley’s walls, which are covered entirely with street art, rotate regularly while others claim their permanent place. The tension between the old and the new SF is palpable, and the expressions of the community can be clearly seen. If you’re lucky, you may even see one of the artists working as you walk down the alleyway.

Next:

Valencia Street

Other than Mission Street itself, Valencia Street is the main drag of the Mission District. Home to many of the shops, bars, and restaurants that have gentrified the area, it’s where you’ll find much of the city’s trendiest spots. It’s enjoyable to walk down Valencia and see old vs. new, classic vs. modern throughout.

Next:

Taqueria El Buen Sabor

I was particularly excited for this stop on the tour — one, because food, and two, a taqueria I hadn’t been to yet! It’s the sister stop of another favorite of mine (Pancho Villa, near 16th and Mission) and it has an excellent taco happy hour daily from 3-5pm. The first and only thing I knew about the Mission when I first arrived was the Mission burrito, which to this day remains one of my biggest delights. This is the true San Francisco treat, folks.

Next:

Mission Dolores and Dolores Cemetery

For all the times I’ve walked through the Mission District, I hadn’t ever realized the history behind the neighborhood’s namesake. Mission Dolores is both the oldest intact mission in California and the oldest building in all of San Francisco. It was one of the only structures to survive the 1906 earthquake. Aside from that it’s just amazingly beautiful. We were also told the history of the Dolores Cemetery, another one of few within SF.

(See, locals can learn something new, too!)

Last:

Dolores Park

If there ever was a place that summed up the Mission District, it’s Dolores Park. Perhaps it’s because at times it feels like the entire city is hanging out there — from tech bros to families to artists and hipsters. There’s the coconut rum man, the Macaw parrots, and any combination of yogis and lawn games to suit your style. If you can tear yourself away from the people watching, it also has one of the best views you’ll find of the city skyline.

Foodies may feel so inclined as to grab ice cream from Bi Rite or pizza from nearby Delfina and take it with them to the park (beware, everyone else does too.) Dolores is also one of the best spots to get some sunshine, even when fog creeps in on the rest of the city.

I couldn’t have been grateful to the other travelers who allowed me to join them. Germany, New Zealand, China, Australia, and Russia were some of the many countries represented on our walk. Thank you for the gift of seeing my city through traveler’s eyes!

The tour guides Mel and El were excellent, bringing to life some of what makes this my favorite city on Earth (and what might easily be overlooked by visitors.)

HI USA Downtown gives this Mission District walking tour to its guests every week on Saturday. I encourage you to learn more about HI USA’s Green Footprints and sustainability initiatives in San Francisco and throughout the US!

And I hope the next time you’re in San Francisco, you’ll give the Mission some of your time. I’ll meet you there…

BONUS!

Other favorite Mission spots….

Restaurants

• Mission Chinese
• Foreign Cinema
• Beretta
• Bar Tartine
• Flour+Water

Taquerias

• Taqueria Cancun
• El Farolito
• La Taqueria
• Pancho Villa

Bars

• Trick Dog
• Evil Eye
• Southern Pacific
• El Techo (Rooftop!)
• ABV

Coffee

• Four Barrel Coffee
• Ritual
• Sightglass

Bakeries and More

• Bi-Rite Market (ice cream!)
• Samovar Tea (get the chai)
• Arizmendi Bakery
• Tartine
• Dandelion Chocolate

Other

• Dogeared Books
• 876 Valencia (The Pirate Store)
• Aquarius Records

Note: this was not a paid partnership, just something I believe in!
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“It seems that the more places I see and experience, the bigger I realize the world to be. The more I become aware of, the more I realize how relatively little I know of it, how many places I have still to go, how much more there is to learn.” – Anthony Bourdain

Similarly, the more I travel within the same country, the more I realize how very little I have seen of it.

That was most definitely the case with Thailand on the eve of my last impending visit. As I approached my third visit to the country, I sat thinking: I’ve seen the beaches. I’ve walked the markets. I’ve visited the temples. In fact, I’ve checked off most of the tourist boxes, much as I disdain the concept.

It is also true that the more I travel, the more I want to take things slowly. I’m not immune to the syndrome of “I want to see all the things!” I still take my picture in front of the Eiffel Tower (or in this case, the Grand Palace in Bangkok.) I still want to feel the exhilaration of standing atop a hotel rooftop, sipping on cocktail on the edge of a famous bar with the city lights out ahead of me.

Yet there is merit in slowly letting a journey unfold, perhaps in a corner of a country that isn’t vying for visitor attention. The beauty of continuing to return to a place is reaching a level of comfort to push yourself deeper, into pockets of the country and experiences you might once have overlooked.

Bangkok yells. Chiang Mai hums. The islands awe you and then sway you asleep into a hammock. What noise did Nan, a small, ancient city in a remote valley bordering Laos, sound like?

I had no idea what I would hear, but I was ready, ear pressed against a closed door, to listen and find out.

Riverside in Lampang

Nan was once an autonomous kingdom, separate from the rest of Thailand.

It is also rich in Lan Na (or Lanna) history and culture, which dates back to the age of kingdoms such as Siam and Angkor (now Cambodia.)  The Kingdom of Lan Na was rooted firmly in northern Thailand, also reaching into present day Laos and Burma. As a result there is a distinct heritage and style found here that is different from the rest of Thailand.

You can get to Nan via thrice daily flight from Bangkok

This flight is via Nok Air, or you can opt for the slow route and move overland from Chiang Mai. Not surprisingly, this option opened up various experiences and exchanges — from small villages, to local crafts, to hidden restaurants, and even more quiet corners. I enjoyed hearing Lampang and Phrae along the way.

Lampang River Lodge, on the road to Nan from Chiang Mai

Breakfast in Nan

The Nan province has a quiet, calming confidence to it.

Perhaps it is its imperial roots, or wild, natural landscape. It seems to say: I’m here, I’m open to your visit. I’m not trying to sell you anything. I am sitting here in peace. I won’t be vying for your attention, but if you come with open ears I have secrets to tell.

There is only one ‘tour’ of Nan that runs to a few main sights in town: the Nan Noble House, Wat Phumin. What a refreshing change to see the sole tour being offered only…in Thai. (Read: the rest of the world hasn’t discovered this place yet.)

Traditional Thai fabric weaving in Long District, Phrae

This quiet beauty isn’t for everyone. But it changed my perception of Thailand as a country. Just as the United States, in its diversity and vastness, has distinctly different personalities depending on where you go and what you’re seeking…so does a smaller country inundated with tourism, where it pays to look beyond the obvious.

Sweet little streets of Nan.

Much of the world is screaming to be seen, and wanting to be heard. Yet it is often in the tiny whispers of a place — when we move slowly, look carefully, and listen wholeheartedly, that we experience the soul of somewhere.

Nan Riverside Art Gallery

So, what does Nan sound like after all? It is subtle. You’ll have to sit a bit still and listen carefully.

Nan whispers.

__
I was a guest of the Tourism Authority of Thailand for this visit to Nan, Thailand. All words, opinions, photographs, and thoughts are strictly original and my own.

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With each month mark that passed during my trip, I took some time to do a little reflecting.  Why not continue to do so upon returning home?  

In fact, what other ways of thinking and living did I adopt while traveling that I can put into practice at home?  If traveling is truly what makes me happiest, what is it exactly that does it for me?  Is it truly the places I am, or is it a way of living that travel enforces?

I thought it would take some time to put my finger on how I lived and thought differently while traveling that was so fulfilling to me. Turns out the second pen hit pad, this poured out.  I’m doing my best to live by it.

1. Never stop learning.

If you’re not learning, you’re not growing.  If you’re not growing, you’re not living.

2. Never stop exploring. 

If you stay in one place, you might never know what you’re missing.  You also might never know where you truly belong.

3. Live (and travel) slowly. 

It’s tempting to run around, checking off endless lists.  I’ve done it, more often than not.  Over the years, I’ve come to see the merit of taking it slow.  We only have so much time, whether it’s in a trip or in a lifetime. Just like eating a fine meal, sometimes we absorb more savoring bite by bite than by scarfing the whole buffet (but who does that, anyways? :/ )

4. Everyone has a story.

This is something I try and live by anywhere I happen to be.  It’s somehow easier to apply when I’m traveling…perhaps I see lives so dramatically different from mine, that it forces me to consider how life may have unfolded for them.  
It’s the same for anyone we encounter, at home or abroad.  We all face challenges.  My theory is that people at home do a better job of hiding it. A huge part of changing your perspective is being able to “take a walk in someone else’s shoes.”  Try it.

5. Stay active and get outside.

Believe it or not, we weren’t made to sit in homes and cubicles all day.  I’m as guilty as anyone of this when I’m home.  When I travel (on a budget,) my accommodation is just the opposite: it’s a place I only go when I need to sleep.  I spent the entirety of my days in the world, interacting with it.  And while there will always be ties that keep us close to home and work (and indoors,) I have found that taking the opportunity to get outside when possible improves the quality of any life.

6. See the beauty in everything.  

So many of the places I go, I realize I am pleasantly surprised at how much I love it once I get there.  I am not immune from the frame of mind that is overly critical of any person, place, or group.  It’s just that when I travel, I know that an open heart and an open mind will enrich my  experience — no matter what country I’m in.  I acknowledge the bad, but then I choose to see the good.  Never more did I need to remember this than when I came home and saw the cracks in my own country.  It’s a choice. See beauty.

7. Problems are relative.

Whether on the micro level (my problems when I’m traveling are quite different from my problems when I’m home) or the macro (Did you wake up this morning under a roof?  Have a glass of clean water? Not feel threatened for your life?) there’s nothing like visiting another country (or sometimes even a pocket of your own country) with another way of life  and another set of daily challenges that will make you realize that the #firstworldproblems hashtag is no joke.  Being thankful for where you were born, who you were or were not born to, and what you’re facing today never hurt anyone.  I like a good pity party as much as anyone else.  But one of the greatest gifts travel has given me is the option to give my problems some perspective.

8. We occupy a tiny space.

Every time we let our ego get in the way, feel like throwing ourselves a pity party (see above,) or give into the dramas that define so many of our lives…take a second to think about how minuscule and temporary your life is.  I don’t care who you are, what you’ve done.  You’re still human, and you’re one of billions.  Sometimes it takes a smack upon the face, other times it takes traveling half the globe.  Humbling, isn’t it?

9.  To some degree, we are all the same.

Regardless of nationality, gender, religion…we all want the basic needs of food, shelter, safety, health.  When those are met, we all want love and maybe even a sense of purpose.  Go ahead and roll your eyes, but the simple truths about humanity are powerful if you truly digest them.

10.  To some other degree, we are products of our environment.

This goes somewhat hand-in-hand with no. 4.  We all make choices and have individual agency.  Yet there’s nothing like the moment you’re traveling or make a good friend in another country that makes you think “wow, this could have been me if I had just been born in another place on another day.”

11. Be spontaneous. 

Because life is just more fun that way. Plan, too. No planning at all is a recipe for disaster, whether in travel or in life.  But let spontaneity have its place.

12.  Be optimistic.

Bad things are going to happen you, whether you stay at home or jump a plane to Kathmandu.  What happens < how we react to it.  On your next trip, pack your good attitude.  You’ll be amazed how far it will take you.

13. Live simply.

Stuff begets stuff.  Believe me when I say it took living out of a backpack and changing cities every three days for me to get this.  We really don’t need as much as we’re led to believe we need.  When this simplifying realization happens to you, it will free you to focus more on the rest of this list.

14. Change it up.

Don’t get in a rut.  You’re never in a rut when you’re traveling, because if you are…you change your plans.  What keeps us from doing this incrementally at home?  I’ve realized I’m happiest when I let go of my fear of change (though it seems impossible at times) and embrace each day as a new day.

15. Challenge yourself. 

The world isn’t as scary as everyone wants you to think it is.  Know yourself, know your limits, and with good judgment (see no. 22) push yourself outside of those limits just a little bit.  Whether it’s asking a stranger for directions or bungee jumping despite a massive fear of heights, it’s a risk/benefit analysis…and the payoff is often huge.  See no.’s 1 and 2.

16. Live in the moment. 

Perhaps travel’s greatest lesson.  Being in a foreign place has a magical effect on your appreciation for each and every day.  Don’t bring your figurative baggage along with your literal baggage.  Who wants to spend 15 hours on a plane only to preoccupy your mind with the same reel of thoughts you’d have at home?  Leave it behind.  And worrying about tomorrow?  That also just takes up precious real estate in your mind that you could free up for experiencing life, today.

17. Be grateful.

Because the second you leave your bubble, you’ll realize how much you do or don’t have.  Be grateful anyways.

18. Life’s moments are better when shared.

That’s not to say solo travel isn’t the way to go, just be open and willing to bringing others into and onto your journey, even if just for a time.  There’s only so much we can learn in solitude.

19. Err on the side of trust.

It’s easy to hole up and suspect, judge, or blame someone else.  It’s much harder to open yourself up to the world, to others, to love and trust.  Sometimes when we’re traveling, we don’t have a choice.  We trust, and we gain faith in the human spirit.

20. Smile more often.

Unless you’re in Paris.  If you smile in Paris, people will think you’re dumb.
Jokes and cultural distinctions aside, when I think to my greatest memories of travel and of connection, I think of smiles.  Children smile far more than any of you reading this do.  In spite of where they are born or what they face, kids smile.
My other favorite memories are of people I have met while traveling that compliment my smile.  They mention their reticence at approaching me—whether my appearance, my nationality, my language—and they tell me that I smiled a lot or smiled at them and that’s why they decided to talk to me.  I’m smiling now just thinking about that!

21. The most important relationship you will ever cultivate is the one you have with yourself.

It’s not selfish to work on yourself, listen to yourself, take time for yourself.  Doing so enables you to be better in all other areas that require you to give of yourself.  If this means traveling by yourself, do it.  If it means staying at home, then do that.

22. Listen to your inner voice.

Or listen to your gut, your heart…whichever suits you.  It’s cliché but true — I always say I’d rather trust others than close myself off to people or experiences.  I’ve since revised this to “I’d rather trust myself to know when to open or close myself off to people or experiences.”

23. Always have an exit door/escape route.

Whether literal or figurative, this doesn’t mean you prematurely use it—it just means you always know where it is.

24.Things aren’t always what they seem.

But sometimes they are.  See no. 22.  Keep your mind and your heart open, then see no. 23.

25. There are good and bad people in every place.

But the good news is…

26. People are generally good.

I see this on other’s life/travel lessons learned lists frequently, but it is something you have to discover for yourself.  I couldn’t tell you how many times random, foreign strangers have helped me, shown kindness to me, befriended me—but it’s way more times than I have ever felt threatened or annoyed. Travel has given me that.

27. Food deserves more credit than we give it.

Yes, this is really on my list. I use food as my metaphor for life because I really, really love food.  Yet it holds true.  If you want to discover a place, a person, a culture…share a local meal.  Food is a basic necessity of life, a true pleasure of life— it’s also one of greatest storytellers and connections to others that exists.

28. Life is short.  Enjoy it, damn it.

I blinked and my five month trip was over.  Life passes just as quickly.  What are you going to do with yours?
Our trips, like our lives, will always have their ups and downs.  My travels are often a heightened piece of my life with a specific end date, so somehow I tend to accept this more willingly when I’m on the road.  But every day we can make an effort to appreciate the good times…and stay positive during the less-than-good ones.  When life is good, we must savor it.

Some of us spend our lives working to please someone or everyone else.  Traveling, for me, removes many of the external factors that influence my identity and puts me in touch with my authentic self.  This is what it taught me: don’t listen to what other people want for you.  Sometimes we are so caught up in the voices of others that we can’t even hear what we want for ourselves.  Live your life for you.  As with this list or anyone’s advice…take what works for you from it, and leave the rest.

29. Things aren’t so important.

30. People are.

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