• HOME
  • ABOUT
  • ABROAD
    • Destinations
    • Itineraries
    • City Guides
    • Resources
  • AT HOME
    • San Francisco
    • Freelance Life
  • CONTACT
  • SHOP

Part-Time Traveler

Find your balance of travel and home.

Home » Personal » The Good Kind of FOMO

The Good Kind of FOMO

March 27, 2014 Personal

(FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out)

As someone who maintains a terrible indecisive streak, I have given a lot of thought to the idea that all decisions are made out of either fear or love.

Nowhere is this division of emotions more clear for me than in travel.  Traveling incites both fear and love in such strength that I am forced to acknowledge each, and constantly have to decide which one gets to rule.
I almost didn’t study abroad because I was afraid of living in another culture, another language, another continent.  Most of all, however silly it may seem, I was afraid of what I would be missing out on in the college experience while I was gone.

I almost didn’t take a year sabbatical to travel, for fear of losing everything I knew and loved at the time.  And this time my fears were justified: I lost it all.  The relationship. (Some) of the friends.  The career.  The city.
I wrote once that it always comes down to what you’ll regret more.  Nothing helps me make decisions better than placing options on the regret scale.

Yet it can be challenging to know what we will regret.  Only now, looking back, is it so clear to me how much I would have regretted turning down the chance to live and study in another country.  I didn’t regret missing one football season and a few parties.

I would have regretted not getting on that one-way flight…not only because was it a once-in-a-lifetime chance to chase a dream and see the world — but because it changed everything for the better.

In the past year, I’ve gained so much more than I’ve lost.  The most valuable thing perhaps is the sense that my life is now aligned with who I am.  I had to be willing to place a big bet and accept some losses to get here. And the journey is far from over.  But if I’m going to bet on anything, it’s travel. 

Often what we’re afraid of the most is the unknown.  More than anything, travel has forced me to befriend this fear.  A notorious life planner and organized go-getter, nothing has enriched my life more than learning how to embrace the inevitable unknown of life in a foreign place and on a foreign timetable.

Here’s what I’ve learned: fear is not the enemy.  Show fear a little bit of love.  Train yourself to fear what you’ll miss if you don’t go after what you love.

Spoiler alert: choosing love is often the more difficult route, and sometimes your fears will come true as a result.  As of now, I’m unemployed and paying rent in San Francisco (yikes.)   That scares the bejeezus out of me daily.  Yet, choosing love is always worth it…

You know what they say…”If you never go, you’ll never know.”

never settle quote< click to tweet >

So I ask you to ponder the following….

I don’t want to take that trip.  It’s too difficult to plan everything.

“If you settle for easy, you might miss out on exceptional.”

I don’t want to visit that country.  It’s too difficult to travel in.

“If you settle for easy, you might miss out on exceptional.”

I don’t want to talk to that person.  It’s too difficult for me to start the conversation.

“If you settle for easy, you might miss out on exceptional.”

I guess I’ll take that job.  It’s too difficult for me to keep looking.

“If you settle for easy, you might miss out on exceptional.”

I guess I’ll be friends with this person.  It’s too difficult for me to be alone.

“If you settle for easy, you might miss out on exceptional.”

I guess I’ll date this person.  It’s too difficult to find the right person.

“If you settle for easy, you might miss out on exceptional.”

I don’t want to live my dreams.  It’s much easier just existing.

Leave a Comment

SHARE
« Paris in Black and White
Barcelona in Black and White »

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

  • 10 Ways to Bring More Travel Into Your Life Now
  • Full-Time Traveler?
  • Five Months of Travel: A Summary
  • How Travel Changed the Way I Set Goals

Want to travel more while still keeping a home base?

Sign up for exclusive content:

 

Winner of Gold and Silver 2019 Solas Awards for Best Travel Writing.

About Anne

Anne Lowrey is an award-winning travel writer based in San Francisco.

After spending a year in the world, she insisted on building a life at home she loved as much as she loves travel. The result was a move to SF, which she affectionately calls her “soul city.” She believes in the balance of and connection between time spent at home and abroad.

Comments

  1. Desiree' Choy says

    March 27, 2014 at 9:33 am

    “Train yourself to fear what you’ll miss if you don’t go after what you love.”
    Words of truth and strength my friend. You could not have spoken more clearly and purposefully to my big move. Leaving my home, friends and family to embark on this new international teaching job is scary and exciting all at the same time. I take the risk of losing some or all of it but I am reassured by the truth that no one ever takes a trip or a big leap of faith and regrets the adventure. However, how often do you meet people who regret never having done it while they had the opportunity.
    For LOVE of travel!

    Reply
    • Anne says

      March 31, 2014 at 1:07 pm

      “I wish I hadn’t traveled…” SAID NO ONE EVER.
      Your bravery and love of adventure continue to inspire me. It can be a daily struggle to keep the faith – but having others share your beliefs and help hold you up is what keeps us going.
      Can’t wait to visit you in your new home! For LOVE of travel is right! XO

      Reply
  2. Clare says

    April 1, 2014 at 5:47 am

    For YEARS, I have been making big decisions based on the regret scale and coaching people to do the same. I completely agree with the approach, and I also think that if, down the line, you see that you didn’t make the best decision, you’ll know that at the time you made the best one you could. It’s a reassurance that’s priceless. It’s also especially good to read this at turning point in my own life, looking to start my career in a new place. Going to keep that easy/exceptional mantra in mind!

    Reply
    • Anne says

      April 7, 2014 at 3:19 pm

      Hi Clare, I love what you wrote about “you’ll know at the time you made the best decision you could.” So well said.
      I am also starting my career in a new place, so I am glad to hear that this helps you! Please continue to share any other gems that help…I know I could use them!
      Best wishes and happy travels 🙂

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

I’m Anne! I spend part of my time traveling the world and the other part living in my soul city, San Francisco.

I have a love for all things travel. I also have a love for nesting. I do NOT believe the two have to be mutually exclusive. If you seek that balance…you’ve come to the right place.

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

Where Am I?

Last: We honeymooned in Greece (Santorini, Milos, Crete) and babymooned in Northern Italy (Piemonte, Lombardia, and Emilia Romagna.)

Next: ???

Now: At home in San Francisco, doubling down on nesting with our newborn baby  ♡

POPULAR POSTS

30 Life Lessons I Learned From Travel (And How They’re Making Me Happier At Home)

Nan: The Quieter Version of Thailand

san francisco restaurants

The Side of San Francisco Most Tourists Don’t See

“If travel is like love, it is mostly because it’s a heightened state of awareness, in which we are mindful, receptive, undimmed by familiarity and ready to be transformed. That is why the best trips, like the best love affairs, never really end.” – Pico Iyer

Plan a Trip

PLAN A TRIP

 

I’ve got…

PLAN A TRIP

  • One Day
  • One Week
  • Two+ Weeks

JOIN THE LIST

Find your balance between home and travel.

Not Como but…Iseo! Looking to return to the lake Not Como but…Iseo!
Looking to return to the lakes of North Italy, we considered Como, Garda, Maggiore, Orta…and in the end we chose Lake Iseo, the one least known (to me.)

It was a beautifully uncrowded atmosphere that only added to our relaxation. Aside from enjoying the lakefront hotel and restaurants, we took a day to visit Monte Isola, the island in the middle of the lake, and another to drive around the perimeter, stopping at villages nestled by the lake’s edge or up into the mountains as needed (cappuccino, gelato, aperitivo, etc.) 

If you’re looking for a smaller, calmer Italian lake experience, add this one to your list! 
—
#parttimetraveler #lagodiseo #italianlakes #italianbeauty
I’ve mostly traveled Italy by train (still my fa I’ve mostly traveled Italy by train (still my favorite way!) but for this trip we decided to rent a 🚗 so that we had a little more freedom to explore and discover smaller villages and countryside. 

If you haven’t yet thought to do this outside of Tuscany, I highly recommend! It’s great to be able to see and support smaller spots and businesses that don’t get much as much tourist traffic. 
—
#parttimetraveler #piemonte #italytraveltips #slowtravel
Bella Italia 🇮🇹🤍 looking forward to shari Bella Italia 🇮🇹🤍 looking forward to sharing more photos this week from my recent journey in Northern Italy!
I’ve also got some news to share…
—
#parttimetraveler #northernitaly #bellaitalia #traveldeeper
Como calls ✨ I’m actually visiting a smaller, Como calls ✨ I’m actually visiting a smaller, much lesser known Italian lake this time. Can’t wait to share more! 🇮🇹
#northernitaly #italianlakes #lagodicomo
Hi friends, it’s been awhile. I’ve got an inte Hi friends, it’s been awhile. I’ve got an international trip planned that starts next week 🧳 😭 Can you guess where? #parttimetraveler #ontheroadagain
Feeling grateful today for another trip taken arou Feeling grateful today for another trip taken around the sun ☀️ and for being able to do so with many favorite people (and in some of my favorite places!)

It can be difficult to celebrate big days or little happy moments amongst the current heaviness of the world. But we must 🌴🌴
—
#bigisland #smallbirthday #alohasunday
9.3.21 :: by far the best day of 2021 and the star 9.3.21 :: by far the best day of 2021 and the start of what makes me most excited for the years to come. ✨
📷 @amandaweiphoto

#sanfranciscowedding #tiburonreception #sfcityhall #2021bride #grateful
Note to self: take more walks just after sunrise 🌁 
#alwaysSF #iphoneonly
Mentally, I’m here right now. 🇬🇷 #milosg Mentally, I’m here right now. 🇬🇷 

#milosgreece #honeymoondestination #parttimetraveler
CONNECT ON INSTAGRAM

© 2022 PART-TIME TRAVELER         Privacy Policy + Terms of Use          Subscribe

THEME BY ECLAIR DESIGNS